Special tips for russian women What's behind men's emphasis on sex and so soon? Men are very impressed by what women can bring to their lives. Their impressions carry little understanding for how it happens. A man sees enormous and nearly instant gains when he thinks of closeness to a woman he fancies. An adoring man looks to the woman he is taken with as offering a new world of goodness and joy. That's the good part. The other part is that men have something within themselves whose mission in life is to find where she is not perfect. Men actually look to women to resolve this nuisance for them, and in a very interesting way. A woman's ways tell a man how much and how quickly she can redo his perceptions and make everything else about her feel right. In other words, men want women to extinguish this problem part with their winnings ways. A man draws a number of conclusions from his first embraces with a new lover and he takes them to tell on his likely future with her. When he finds that he has a sensuous comfort with her he then feels that he can communicate with her and that he is connected to her. He takes her empathic tie to him to be expressed more in how they spend those sweet moments together than in how excited he or she becomes. His wish to idle longer in foreplay tells you that he feels this way about you. A man will see you as putting this sense of loving connection into the rest of his life with you. The early emphasis on sex comes in part from a man's impulsive nature. The larger part comes from his inner conviction that how well you come together in love making decides how well you affect him in all else. What makes for a good beginning to a relation? Men and women are much more alike than different. The few gender differences that are real are also what make men and women want to be with each other. How you work the difference in the beginning usually foretells where the relation will go and how it will get there. One of the largest differences is in the woman's lead in emotional and intuitive power. Directed action and logic at a distance from one's feelings comes easier to most men than women. Men have the feminine strengths as a lesser part of themselves and likewise for women having what men have. The differences tell you what men hope for in the relation and not only in its beginning. Men want women to come first in things that they see as past their intuition or their ability to know by feeling. Your intuitive energy has a quality that men often see as magical for having less or little of it. A man will easily trust his intuition when it tells him to follow the deeper and more sensitive ways of a woman's nature. Men have a good inner sense for the action belonging to a situation. They will take the lead, and without thought, when you are working on things together. Their greatest wish is for you to put your glee and the energy of your feelings into what you do together. Men are comfortable following your lead when they sense it better belongs to you. They will admire and respect you when this happens. And when their inner way tells them to go first they feel uplifted and heartened to know that you and your ways go with them. When is it difficult for men to understand women? There is one gender difference that can easily go past a man's way of knowing. A male's first impulse in most of life is to look for the action that fits the situation. This is a way of life the male is born with and it goes all the way down to his hormones. He brings it with him to the events of puberty when he discovers that wonderful other gender. He then hopes or expects to create success with girls as he does elsewhere. He soon finds that taking action does not speak well enough to what the other sex wants. His make up is dominated by doing. Her make up is dominated by feeling and sensing. She wants him to key into her emotions and intentions. He wants her to respond to his active interest and what he says. It is puzzling and sometimes disorienting for a male to find that no action he takes works as well as he wishes. He would do better by looking at the nature of her charms. If only he could see how her enchanting ways point to her emotions. At some deep inner level the message gets through that his feelings can prosper by her richer ones. And it gets through by taking a route below his awareness. Men manage to stumble around connecting with the feeling issue in the way they relate to women. In the end her attractive powers and patient amusement with his way of dealing with what he takes as a mystery make it come out well, usually. You can help him. Tell him in how you relate that answers are less in doing than in being in touch with the flow of things. Send your easy sense of yourself and others to him. If he is really dense then tell him in words how you feel. This may strike him as a revelation or a sign from beyond but he will welcome the help, and your patience. Nature's purpose is for each gender to grow in the ways and powers of the other in relationships. He is not likely to know this in a conscious way but he will savor your invitation to learn from what you are. What do men notice in women besides good looks? Men have two views on a woman's beauty. The first is short-lived and comes from how she strikes him from afar. Some interaction with her quickly changes this into a second and longer lasting sense of her. The most important beauty a man finds in a woman comes from what her ways do to him. Men are very much in touch with how easily and pleasantly a woman can rearrange him and his inner world. They want your emotional color to make them feel more alive and turned on. They want your intuition to open them to meanings and feelings that they have less of by themselves. Men are ready to notice women whose meanings are easy to see. Their anxious concern over how their efforts come to you makes them want a woman they can more easily read. There is a split within them between how immediate your effect on them is and how little they know of what they do to you. A man will feel he is comfortable with how you communicate if he can see your meanings in what you do. A woman's lines become more seductive when a man sees a playful and cooperative spirit in her. Men are at home with one another when working together. A woman who keys into that and adds a splash of wit or whimsy will capture his full attention and make his interest come her way. Men take a woman's genuineness as a promising sign. It tells them that her idiom is closer to their own. Men love to see how a woman's emotions color her personality in a remarkably different way from his own. And they are easily baffled or put off when they need to understand it. In their eyes to be direct is the larger part of genuineness that makes it easier for them to know your meanings. He will be glad within and grateful to you for finding that you add his easy signs to how you easily charm him. What do men feel they do to women? Men are generally in awe of how much goodness a woman can put in their lives. The easy glee and gentle intuition in a woman's way comes to men as a wonderful promise of joy and happiness. These are things that men know by how uplifting they are and little, if at all, by their own inner experience. Women fill men with sweet feelings to the point of distraction and leave little space for thoughts on the other direction. Men get around to it when they begin to care, really care, for a woman. They then open to her needs and concerns. Men learn about women when they begin to love. Women learn about men just by being women. His closeness opens him to feel her need to be centered and more focused. He begins to see in his nearness to you what he has read about in books and seen in the cinema. The melting of your anxieties when his directness of purpose relieves your cares gives him joy. He finds that the offer of his strength of purpose and cooler, logical ways is a welcome gift to the relation. It slowly comes to men that they give women a grounding that they long for in love. It takes men longer to know what sex means to a woman. Men have so much gratitude to women for the ecstatic joy of sex that it takes them a long time just to begin to think about what the woman is getting from it. It is obvious to men that women enjoy it by their smiles and relish. How women enjoy it is another thing. A woman's inner sense of bestowing life with her presence is far from most men. Men need long periods of closeness to you to sense the majestic and creative feelings that come to women in love making. They may need even longer to understand how your need to trust them comes from such feelings. Men are quick to the absence of orgasm and usually lose themselves to it in lovemaking and afterwards. The need to reflect and know what love is doing to them comes slowly and later. As their love grows so does their wish to make all things right and true for you. Their respect for your person and fascination with what you are leads them slowly to accept your intuitions into themselves. In time your woman's way takes root in him. This is one half of nature's wish that men and women become more like each other by loving one another. Don't try to get a man to see these things right away. Give it to him in your ways and, if he cares, he will get the message on what he is doing to you. Until then he will be grateful to you for what you do and feel that he does not need to understand what is going on to enjoy it. Are there early warning signs of men that are better avoided? A good rule of thumb for calling the real thing is to look at how appropriate a person is (in relationships and elsewhere). A skilled man with an eye for the subtle can feed women things so savory that they will rush back for more. When things seems too satisfying and nothing stands in the way then it's a good idea to ask if it's really real. What kind of behaviors does he offer other than the distractingly good ones? What draws out his negative energy? His working on a selfish or exploitative agenda will tell in his nothing but positive energy for you. The real thing responds to different parts in different and fitting ways. There is reason for pause if the way he responds leaves out too many possibilities. The idea is that insincerity is a foe of spontaneity and the latter is a first cousin to being appropriate. The narcissistic fellow is a subtler kind of problem. Why did nature make narcissistic people so charming? Their sense of magnificence makes you just want to be a part of how they feel about themselves. They are often quite bright and creative too. What's worse, many narcissistic people are good at forming close and caring relationships. So where is there a problem? The problem is that he needs to have you in orbit around him. His very ways lure you into what feels like such a sweet dance around him. He gives a sense of possibility and connection to everything that can easily feel like it's a part of yourself. The spell can last a long time. Will he be there for you when the time comes for you to fall out of the spell he put you under? Will he offer you himself when you want him to move around you in some ways too? Narcissism is easy to spot. When his self love congratulates you for being with him then you know his number. The number is one, not two. He is certain to be grandiose and to have a number of glorious but unfulfilled ambitions for the world. This kind of personality is sure to intrigue you and can still make a satisfying companion or mate if his self absorption is mild. So don't run away all at once. What is a good way to be sure that a man gets my meaning and vice versa? Women often express a wish to meet a woman in a man's body just to make the communication work. Men are less inclined to admit their similar wish when it comes to giving and getting messages with a woman. It is easy for one woman to find another's meaning in the expressed emotions that carry it. It is also easy for one man to see another's meaning in the actions or deeds that tell on it. A woman sends a message to a man more in her feelings than in her works and the man looks for the meaning more in what you do than how you put your feelings into it. It goes the other way too for men. They send a woman meanings by doing things and the woman looks to how it makes her feel to get his message. There is often some comedy in how easy it is for each gender to miss the other's meaning. If you want to be sure that he gets your meaning then send it to him in a shared activity. If the rush of good feelings he gives you makes you want to connect with him then tell him something whose doing contains your feelings. If skiing turns you on or jogging makes you feel full of life then talk about that. He'll get the message. It may not reach his conscious mind but it will land where it counts. Men feel connected to women who put their meanings into an action as well as into feelings. They also feel that such women understand them and make it easy to get to know one another. Study his actions when you wish to know more about how he sees you or what is going on within him. For example, if you cannot make sense of what he doing then he is probably telling you in his actions that he is not getting your meaning. If he suggests that you do something together at say a party, like sharing some refreshment, then he is telling you that he gets your message favoring him and he feels likewise toward you. A good way to get it right is in the formula: men express their feelings in actions and women express their meanings in their feelings. There is some of both ways in each gender but the proportions differ. You can work the difference toward what you want with the one who pleases your eyes. Can a man have sex with a woman without feeling any emotion? A major purpose of sex in a relation is to deepen feelings of closeness and love for one another. A man will always have feelings of some kind when making love -- it cannot be otherwise. The issue is whether they are feelings that feed the relation or that go in other directions. Feelings that offend the relation can arise in a few ways. If he is angry with you but also feels amorous and turned on then he will take his pleasure with you but withhold his tenderness. He may even feel he is getting back at you by trading his wrath for your love. This is not a serious issue, unless chronic, and best dealt with by letting it pass. Women more often have the maturity to do this than when the shoe is on the other foot. If his anger is ongoing then it is time to talk with him. Withholding your affections may flush out why he is angry with you. It is more likely to deepen his anger and aggravate the problem because men are impulsive when it comes to sex. Communication is a better route back to tenderness. His likely respect for your asking after his cause for anger should open him to talk about it. You can work together on clearing his anger once you are both aware of it. A man who feels he is getting too close too fast may perform sexually while shutting down his real feelings for you. He will then feel far from you when you are in his arms. You can quietly accept his pace and go slower. If your judgment tells you that you can talk with him about it then do so. He wants to know that you accept the pace that feels right for him. This brings the paradox of success: accept his reticence about getting closer and he will get closer faster. Otherwise his anxiety over being discovered in a short position will hold him up. A handicapped person with no need to hide the handicap can give more energy to going forward. There are men who see little connection between sex and love. Men who fear losing control are likely to be this way. A woman's seductive ways can be simply overwhelming for some men. This kind of fellow is likely to be successful where he feels that he is in charge. The letting go and letting be that sexual love wants will come to him as a threat. He will perform but not be there in person, so to speak, when he does so. You can deal successfully with a lover who has passing anger and who is otherwise a tender person and there for you. It is otherwise with a man who fears your very seductiveness itself. When what you are stirs fear in him it is time to think about your options. If he acknowledges the problem and seeks help then you will need to decide if you can patiently wait for better days to come. If he sees no problem in making love from afar then it may be best to mourn the relation and move on. What do men feel they really want from women? Men are certain of the good things a can woman create in their lives. They take it as a given that nothing in life can rival the happiness she can offer them. Men form images of life with her that reach deep into their psyches. Their images flow from the echo of the feminine in them and nature has made it that the images ring true. Men place great faith in what this part of their psyche tells them. Their certain images give them energy to venture into life with hopes of finding the promise they are sure of. Their certainty ends, and quickly, at how to win the interest of the one they desire. One mental rehearsal after another follows their anxious doubts over what to do and how to do it. It has been said that women are much concerned with making a relation work and men with getting it started in the first place. This is true to the way men think and feel. There is little, if any, pause in a man's spirit when it comes to what she offers. There is very large pause over how to make it happen. Men value meeting the right women so much that rapid pulse, labored breathing and other reactions proper to life's greatest challenges go with them to meeting women. Men really want to meet women whose meanings and messages they can easily find and respond to. It is very important to him to be able to sense the way she wants his offerings sent to her. Men assume inwardly that it will go well if only they know what to do. They further assume that if it miscarries there is fault with themselves for not properly working the exchange. Men are confident of having the right stuff and they are not confident about how to present it to her favor. A woman who puts the clues of her interest into her expressed actions will soon be able to take her pick of the litter. Men very much want women who orient them by putting their meanings into what they do as well as into their feelings. Men enjoy the second but they are better at reading the first.   Russian Women Testimonials