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if you know you’re going to be married to someone out of your culture, there are a few things to think about. Mainly, don’t do it just because it seems like it would be fun and great. It looks great from the outside, but that wow factor quickly gets old. A successful intercultural for example russian-american marriage is GREAT, but not because of what it looks like from the outside. It’s because of how much work and time it took to overcome the obstacles to successfully communicate and understand each other well. The experience of the marriage will probably be different for both. A husband will probably live in the country of origin and a wife will be a stranger in a new strange land. It’s important for the husband who is at home to support the new bride. Don’t make fun of or put down any lack of understanding about the culture. Try to learn some or all of your brides’s native language. Bring the positive parts of the culture into your home. In general, in any kind of family routine, sharing a meal is an important bonding time. There are going to be dishes your wife loves that you hate - for example, russians love caviar, while a rare american will not grimace seeing it. It is important to try to establish your palate for things your spouse likes. You won’t be able to do this for everything, but when you can’t it doesn’t mean their food is bad. Don’t put down their food or them because they like it. It may be one of the few things of their culture that they can experience in the new land. Find dishes that are good for everyone to eat at the table, and then situations where both can have the food you like which your bride hates. A good way to do this is to go to restaurants occasionally, or eat the meal you want at a mealtime where you aren’t sitting down together such as lunch. Support for the non-native language bride will vary depending on how fluent they are in the new language. Sometimes they’ll never become fluent enough to get certain things done like important paperwork such as taxes, insurance, etc. Getting married to a Russian woman probably means you’ll have to take on those kinds of tasks. But it is very important that your bride becomes fluent enough in the new language to feel comfortable and make friends outside of your home. Help them come into social and safe situations where they can only communicate using the language of the new land. it is also important to establish a circle of friends who are from Russia. Depression is common among immigrants, especially in their first few years, and is a stage of culture shock. Finding as much social support as possible is very good, since these friends have all been there and done that. Very often among this group there will be other intercultural marriages, and friends like that can be good for both of you since they’re familiar with the particular differences you have to work with. Try to read literature and/or watch TV and movies from their land. It will help you to understand Russian culture and will help your bride to understand people and culture of North America better. And most important thing is to follow the golden rule - do to others what you would want them to do to you. | ||||||||||
| Alla-S, SUPER-BLACK-GUY, likableman, ganga, travlinman, agnipo, colomoda, dude3550, leo-lucky-girl, skobe_zan, dav1129, chema-63, sweetie15, Sassen | Luc_bez_snov |
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