What are you looking for?

| | | | | |

What are you looking for?

krymell 35 y.o. , UK-England

What are you looking for?

current mood relaxed

05.03.09 02:07:15 AM

Relationship & Dating

Rating :

I ask the question in this title for a number of reasons. Firstly, I am amazed by the amount of people who seem to be on this site for like years! You can't honestly tell me that gathered here under one banner (LL) are actually the most unlucky people in love?

However, that must be the case, or is it that this site should be renamed "Picky lovers" people who have such high ideals for a partner that it is virtually impossible for anyone to match them.

Few of us are perfect. I am far from it - but that is what makes us interesting individuals, we all have good and bad points. Maybe we are searching for something that does not exist, and that is why we are always disappointed. A lot of people here seem to have been in relationships that were unhappy, and so they seek out something better. In that scenario there is always an element of fear.

Fear that the relationship may go wrong again, fear of making mistakes makes you not want to commit again. You get caught in a whirlpool, and round and round you go.

I have come across a number of people here who seem to have that problem. I am not sure how they overcome that. Life can easily pass you by as you look on as a spectator whilst the real game goes on in front of your eyes. I wonder if it is a part our times, that we as humans seek instant everything, and reject anything that does match our high values, how easily we tire of anything that does not continue to interest us, and how easily we cast aside people who once we would seek out, but now we no longer have time for.

Maybe we should really take a good look at ourselves...what do you think?

Comments

Nattysha

05.03.09

You quite right but not fully, here are numbers of men and probably women( I dont look for women) for play games who in reality not mean have family or serious relations just like to have fun. They become as addicted to seek somebody better more beauty and if possible blonde millionare with big boobs who will pick up them on the Bahama's villa and suck cock all the day ( sorry). Well such men cant pay attention for one woman and take a time to learn her, they would leave any even the best woman because become adicted to play games and mess around they cannot move out here and if even wouild be marry i guess will still visit site to feel how great they are that lots of beauty women wants him.
I know what I say just go and look at antidate.org phorum, there are lots of LL hero.
Women always look stability but most men of here could show stability just in his way- sitting here and play games.

Amen.

alenika

05.03.09

Maybe we should really take a good look at ourselves...what do you think?

Good idea always and in any case :-)

LetsDance

05.05.09

Maybe we should really take a good look at ourselves

too scary

ChelIn-2008

05.05.09

We already agreed that there could be the equal number women/men players, liars etc. so we are talking about ppl who are for serious relationship and I am sure here on LL they are too many.
The answer on the question why ppl being here on LL long while don’t find their desired partners could be the same as in real life why it’s difficult and takes long time in reality as well?

people who have such high ideals for a partner that it is virtually impossible for anyone to match them.

I think that isn’t only one problem and can not be said for everyone here and I suppose the same occurs for some in real life too.
To take a good look at ourselves in this particular case and to formulate clearly what we are searching might help in certain degree to achieve our goals but the real reason seems to be that to find soul mate and life partner by online dating as the same in real life is always hard work…

just luck…like a gift

.
It may take time and this is an answer I hope...but just don't give up and good luck to everyone…

ChelIn-2008

05.05.09

Maybe we are searching for something that does not exist, and that is why we are always disappointed.

Yeah... that's realy good to define...from my experience I know...I was told several times ...looking for a real woman...even now I don't know what they meant...femininity? that's quite interesting what is the definition of real woman or man for ppl here and to understand if it's possible to meet requirements

Nattysha

05.06.09

LOL since he has 35 yo

selinko

05.06.09

Interesting question, but apart from anecdotal evidence, or being a founder member, how do you determine the period of time anyone has been a site member? A random check in archived forum posts showed most profiles not available, which would lead me to believe there is a regular turnover of members.

What is a reasonable time to be searching anyway?? If a shotgun approach is used i.e. mail every potential and then whittle the list down to potential mates then one could expect results in a few months. If a sequential method of seeking a mate is used then it is not beyond reason for an individual to be here some time.

Of course the assumption of the post is that all are here seeking long term relationships or marriage, which has limited validity. Looking at female members (sorry cannot access data for men) 74% are looking in categories other than marriage or long term relationships. 7% seek short term relationships 7% chat, 64% penpals and 29% fun (I know they do not add up - some register in multiple categories) I'm sure this is mirrored by men on the site, so I would expect a lot of long term members....

for which I'm sure admin is eternally grateful

colomoda

05.07.09

People who wrote multiple categories (like marriage, long-term relationships, short-term relationships, erotic chat.... so on) are them that do not really know what they want from life.

If anyone is seriously looking for marriage, he/she should put 'marriage' in the category

alenika

05.07.09

Much depends on how those long term mebers behave. If they are dating (flirting?) all the time and many people at the same time, then reasons are obvious - games.
If they come and talk in public, or maybe had some failure in past. And this failed relationship could take a couple of years... and they can start searching again - then how can they be blamed.. that they failed first time.
Just time of being in LL doesn't mean anything yet. Depends on how they communicate and what for they are here.

But again - looking at oneself never hinders :-)